He said/she said. Arguing. Fighting. Drama. Someone says or does something to create pain, and the person the pain is inflicted on retaliates. It's a common enough occurrence in our world. How can we change this, you ask? By changing how we look at pain and the mechanisms it works through.
In my retail job, there are certain regular customers that my fellow associates see and quickly run in the opposite direction. My coworkers do this because these customers tend to be pushy and complaining and nothing is ever right--an attitude that causes pain in my coworkers. Ironically, I can make these same customers smile and have a pleasant shopping experience. Is it because I am a better salesman (aka schmoozer)? Nope. It is because I use my empathic skills to understand the customer's needs and then I do my best to give them what they need!
When I read these particular customers, I usually get a sense of the pain they are feeling. Sometimes the pain is physical. They may be old or sick and just not feel good. Sometimes it is mental/emotional pain. At all times, this pain is crying out for release. For most people, release means unleashing it on someone else. Unfortunately, the results are that the pain energy is unleashed on whoever is nearby, like my coworkers.
Did my coworkers cause the initial pain trauma that is now being inflicted on them? Most likely not. The fact of the matter is, the actions we take are a direct result of how we have learned to operate in the world. Any action I take, regardless of how it effects you, is all about me! Any action you take, regardless of how it effects me, is all about you!!! Just let that thought sink in for a few moments, and you'll begin to understand the reality of the situation.
If you're having a bad day and your anger comes out on some poor, unsuspecting sales associate, is it the fault of the sales associate for poor customer service? You may try to blame them, but let's get real. You were having a bad day in the first place. Where did the pain come from? Are you passing it along?
When I encounter a cranky customer, I do not accept responsibility for the pain they are inflicting. In other words, I don't take it personally. Their pain was already there. I refuse to make it mine.
I see myself as the source of love and help and protection. I use these positive resources to try to help them fill the void that pain has created in their lives. This is how I can change cranky customers into happy ones. I listen, acknowledge them and their pain, and do what I can to solve their problems. Sometimes, all it takes is a sympathetic, listening ear.
Transforming the pain you encounter in others is as simple as thinking about it differently!!! By allowing them to express their pain and not allowing it to alter how you feel about yourself, you actually have the ability to help them release their pain in a way that does not destroy. You can then turn around and send them love and healing and peace.
Perspective is everything. When you change yours, the world around you magically begins to change. Creating a better world begins with your thoughts. Transform the pain created by others by seeing it differently!!!
~CSE
In my retail job, there are certain regular customers that my fellow associates see and quickly run in the opposite direction. My coworkers do this because these customers tend to be pushy and complaining and nothing is ever right--an attitude that causes pain in my coworkers. Ironically, I can make these same customers smile and have a pleasant shopping experience. Is it because I am a better salesman (aka schmoozer)? Nope. It is because I use my empathic skills to understand the customer's needs and then I do my best to give them what they need!
When I read these particular customers, I usually get a sense of the pain they are feeling. Sometimes the pain is physical. They may be old or sick and just not feel good. Sometimes it is mental/emotional pain. At all times, this pain is crying out for release. For most people, release means unleashing it on someone else. Unfortunately, the results are that the pain energy is unleashed on whoever is nearby, like my coworkers.
Did my coworkers cause the initial pain trauma that is now being inflicted on them? Most likely not. The fact of the matter is, the actions we take are a direct result of how we have learned to operate in the world. Any action I take, regardless of how it effects you, is all about me! Any action you take, regardless of how it effects me, is all about you!!! Just let that thought sink in for a few moments, and you'll begin to understand the reality of the situation.
If you're having a bad day and your anger comes out on some poor, unsuspecting sales associate, is it the fault of the sales associate for poor customer service? You may try to blame them, but let's get real. You were having a bad day in the first place. Where did the pain come from? Are you passing it along?
When I encounter a cranky customer, I do not accept responsibility for the pain they are inflicting. In other words, I don't take it personally. Their pain was already there. I refuse to make it mine.
I see myself as the source of love and help and protection. I use these positive resources to try to help them fill the void that pain has created in their lives. This is how I can change cranky customers into happy ones. I listen, acknowledge them and their pain, and do what I can to solve their problems. Sometimes, all it takes is a sympathetic, listening ear.
Perspective is everything. When you change yours, the world around you magically begins to change. Creating a better world begins with your thoughts. Transform the pain created by others by seeing it differently!!!
~CSE
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