Almost nineteen years ago, I was in a very bad place mentally, emotionally and spiritually. My first marriage was ending, and its very last breath had literally consumed all the remaining bits of my energy. I felt empty, like everything in me had been sucked dry leaving a vacuum that could not be refilled. I didn't want to live anymore.
My husband had just told me he wanted to be separated, and I was ready to leave this world. He and the kids were sitting in the living room watching TV. I slipped out very quietly and locked myself in the bedroom. Knowing where the handgun was hidden, I got it out and held it in my hands. I knew where the safety was--knew it would be easy to pull the trigger and exit this life. I sat on the floor of the bedroom with my back against the door holding my own life in my hands.
Something alerted my husband to what I was doing. He realized I had the gun. He tried to get in the locked room. When he understood I was sitting against the door, he began talking to me. I don't remember anything he said except the one thing that made me change my mind: your kids need you. In that instant, I knew it wasn't time to leave this life. I unlocked the door and allowed him to take the gun from my hands.
A number of years later, I was reading the book "The Healing Code" by Alex Lloyd and Ben Johnson. The book details an energetic healing technique that is akin to Reiki, although it manifests in slightly different form. I began using the technique described in the book to work on myself. After repeating this process several times, I began to remember this attempted suicide, which I had long buried in my subconscious because it was just too painful for my mind to deal with. Each time I did the Healing Code process, the incident became more clear.
Then something amazing happened. I was no longer sitting on the floor with the gun in my hands, but instead was standing in the opposite corner of the room looking at myself. I noticed my guardian angels were in the room with me, standing a bit to the side as I contemplated taking my life. What truly amazed me though was who was standing directly beside me: Jesus. At the very lowest moment of my life, Jesus was the one holding my hand.
Even though my understanding of who Jesus is has changed over time, I appreciate who he is: teacher, mentor, friend. He has the ability to transcend time and space (as we all do), and he loved me enough to stand with me when I was hurting and feeling lost and alone.
I believe we all have spiritual mentors who support us along the way. They can be famous spiritual teachers like Jesus, Mohammed, or the Buddha. They can be people we have known in this life or in past ones. If you think back on your life and remember yourself talking to certain individuals over and over again (in your imagination or even seeing them and holding the actual conversation), this is probably one of your spiritual mentors.
We are all connected to Source and as such we have the power to call on the wisdom and inspiration of others in order to meet the challenges we face. Take comfort in the fact you are not alone. Trust there is always a spiritual mentor available to help you, whether you remember to ask for the help or not.
Spiritual mentors are here to assist us. Make use of these precious resources. Follow the guidance of your heart in such matters. It knows what to do.
~CSE
My husband had just told me he wanted to be separated, and I was ready to leave this world. He and the kids were sitting in the living room watching TV. I slipped out very quietly and locked myself in the bedroom. Knowing where the handgun was hidden, I got it out and held it in my hands. I knew where the safety was--knew it would be easy to pull the trigger and exit this life. I sat on the floor of the bedroom with my back against the door holding my own life in my hands.
Something alerted my husband to what I was doing. He realized I had the gun. He tried to get in the locked room. When he understood I was sitting against the door, he began talking to me. I don't remember anything he said except the one thing that made me change my mind: your kids need you. In that instant, I knew it wasn't time to leave this life. I unlocked the door and allowed him to take the gun from my hands.
A number of years later, I was reading the book "The Healing Code" by Alex Lloyd and Ben Johnson. The book details an energetic healing technique that is akin to Reiki, although it manifests in slightly different form. I began using the technique described in the book to work on myself. After repeating this process several times, I began to remember this attempted suicide, which I had long buried in my subconscious because it was just too painful for my mind to deal with. Each time I did the Healing Code process, the incident became more clear.
Then something amazing happened. I was no longer sitting on the floor with the gun in my hands, but instead was standing in the opposite corner of the room looking at myself. I noticed my guardian angels were in the room with me, standing a bit to the side as I contemplated taking my life. What truly amazed me though was who was standing directly beside me: Jesus. At the very lowest moment of my life, Jesus was the one holding my hand.
Even though my understanding of who Jesus is has changed over time, I appreciate who he is: teacher, mentor, friend. He has the ability to transcend time and space (as we all do), and he loved me enough to stand with me when I was hurting and feeling lost and alone.
I believe we all have spiritual mentors who support us along the way. They can be famous spiritual teachers like Jesus, Mohammed, or the Buddha. They can be people we have known in this life or in past ones. If you think back on your life and remember yourself talking to certain individuals over and over again (in your imagination or even seeing them and holding the actual conversation), this is probably one of your spiritual mentors.
We are all connected to Source and as such we have the power to call on the wisdom and inspiration of others in order to meet the challenges we face. Take comfort in the fact you are not alone. Trust there is always a spiritual mentor available to help you, whether you remember to ask for the help or not.
Spiritual mentors are here to assist us. Make use of these precious resources. Follow the guidance of your heart in such matters. It knows what to do.
~CSE
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