We need to get over the belief that, somehow, forgiveness is all about letting someone else off the hook for something they've done to hurt you. Forgiveness is not about them! Forgiveness is all about you--your learning, your progress, your freedom! Forgiveness does not make the wrong right. Forgiveness allows you to move out of harmful energy into a state of empowerment! Allow yourself to let go of hurts. You may find yourself in a whole new glorious way of BEing!
In all the craziness that is my life, I am really bad about neglecting my own needs. I look out for my husband's needs, my parent's needs, my granddaughter's need, my children's needs, my customer's needs, etc. etc., but most days I don't think enough of my own importance to spare myself a caring thought. Consequently, I often feel empty, sad, angry and just plain exhausted as I allow my own needs to go unmet.
The thing is, I do know that I am important (even though that importance does not often take priority). In those moments when I begin to feel drained, I understand it is my turn! After all, if I don't take the time to make sure my own needs are met, how do I expect to continue to help others? An empty vessel has nothing left to give!
When life becomes especially stressful, it is extremely important to take at least a few minutes of the day for yourself. Read a book. Watch a favorite comedy show. Take a hike in the woods or beside the ocean. Sing a song. Paint. Cook a nice meal for (or with) a friend. When you take time to enjoy your life, those empty places get filled back up. You are uplifted, renewed!
Never regret the time you spend doing something for yourself. If you don't make yourself a priority, no one else will either! Remember: you are worth it!
There's a hilarious scene in the movie "Big Fat Greek Wedding" where the main character, Toula, her mother and her aunt try to convince her father to allow Toula to work at her aunt's travel agency. Because it is a very male dominated culture, they must convince the father it is his idea to have Toula work at the travel agency. To do this, they invent a problem where the logical solution is to have Toula work at the travel agency.
Manipulation is common in our society. We operate under the false belief that others can be convinced what we believe is "right" is truth and accept it. Sometimes our charasmatic appeals are listened to. At other times we use coercion or manipulation to get our way. The thing is, others rarely change because of anything we do. The fact of the matter is, we cannot change the energy of others through superior argument, manipulation or coercion--at least not in the long term. True change requires a shift in consciousness/energy, and that can only take place inside the person.
Think about the times you have experienced big shifts in your life. Were these changes the result of anything another person did or said, or was it because you observed something new and had to change your belief to fit the new information? True and lasting change is the result of shifting consciousness, and this is something that can only occur inside yourself.
How can we use this observation to change the world? The answer is to become a better you! It is up to each and every one of us to BE the change we want to see in the world. If you want to see more peace in the world, you have to BEcome peace. If you want to see more love in the world, you have to BEcome love. Change occurs in others when they observe something and understand that is either what they want or what they want to avoid. It all has to do with energy/frequency. How you BE in the world matters!
Live your life is such a way that your focus is on improving yourself. As you solve your own problems and become better, the people around you will take notice. Chances are they will want many of those same changes for themselves. At the point they ask about what you have done, go ahead and share. They will then be open and will more readily make the changes they need to take to improve themselves. It is not a quick process, but it is a lasting one.
