Resolutions

It is officially 2017, and most of us are busy planning how our lives will be better. This is where resolutions come in--those pesky little promises we make to ourselves to try to become better than we were the year before. For many of us, those resolutions fall by the wayside within the first few months as old habits and patterns are remembered.

This year, I have one resolution: I am going to begin asking for what I want. That might sound like an easy thing to do, but I have spent most of my life doing things for everyone except me. It has dawned on me that my life is not where I want it to be because I have not opened myself up to the possibilities.

Part of my problem is low self esteem. Regardless of my outgoing nature, the simple fact of the matter is deep down I have never felt worthy to receive. Some of this stems from negative messages I received about myself when I was a child. The other part of this was my religious programming where I was taught my life was all about God and others--never about me. Thinking about myself was "selfish". I never came first. Consequently, I have lived a life where I am not part of the equation, other than to be used for the benefit of others.

Now that my children are grown and out of the nest, I have had some time to analyze and understand why I am where I am. I have time to think about what I want and what is important to me. I have time to meditate and call upon the wisdom of God/Source/Oneness to guide me into new paths.

I have no idea where this year will lead me. I just know that I am allowing myself to be open to new possibilities as I reach out and ask the Universe what more is possible. I am excited to see where this will lead me.

~CSE

  

Forgiveness Doesn't Absolve the Offender, It Frees the Offended

We need to get over the belief that, somehow, forgiveness is all about letting someone else off the hook for something they've done to hurt you. Forgiveness is not about them! Forgiveness is all about you--your learning, your progress, your freedom! Forgiveness does not make the wrong right. Forgiveness allows you to move out of harmful energy into a state of empowerment! Allow yourself to let go of hurts. You may find yourself in a whole new glorious way of BEing!

~CSE

When Did You Stop Following Your Heart?

I have been doing a lot of self-healing work lately as part of the process of returning to purpose. One of the most valuable insights I have received thus far is identifying the moment I stopped thinking with my heart and began to think with my mind instead.

Let me explain exactly what that means. When we are born, we come out as bundles of potential. We follow our instincts. We live in the moment and experience the world around us. If we need something, we cry and make it known. We play. We experiment. We discover. We are attracted to certain people and experiences, and we seek those out. This is how our hearts function, and when we think with our hearts this is how we experience the world.

There comes a point in everyone's life where they are confronted with the processes of the mind. For some it happens in infancy. These people have almost always chosen difficult life paths. For others, it comes further down the road. The mind is the part of us that is designed to keep us safe. It takes in information from the five senses and uses memory to encode what we learn from these experiences. When a similar experience happens later down the road, we drawn on these memories to decide our next move--often something to keep us from dealing with remembered pain.

Problems come in when we allow our minds to make all the decisions and do away with the advice our hearts give us. Why is this a problem? Our hearts have been encoded with our soul purpose. When we stop listening to our hearts in favor of listening to our minds, we often forget what that purpose is. If we do this long enough, our lives become unfulfilling and meaningless.

I can pinpoint the moment I stopped relying on the advice of my heart in favor of what my mind told me to do. As a kid, I was an interesting combination of introvert and leader. I craved a lot of alone time. However, in social situations I was very much the leader. I was cute and smart and funny and people would seek me out. I was also creative and knew what I wanted to do at any given moment. Usually people would join me with whatever I decided to do in that moment. If they were left out, I would include them.

This is how I lived my life until I met a particular friend. She was fun and full of life (still is actually). However, she did not want to follow along with everything I did. I found out because I overheard something I was not supposed to hear. Ironically, as I look back at my young self, I know I never forced anyone to go along with what I wanted. I was also goody two shoes, so my suggestions didn't get people into trouble. Most people liked me enough they would go along with my suggestions. In that moment, however, I began to question my whole way of doing things. I did not want to force people to participate in things they did not care for. I stopped following what was in my own heart. I began inquiring about what other people wanted to do and would often follow along. My mind told me this was the way to make people like me. I was twelve.

There were still times throughout my life when I did follow my heart. I followed my heart when I began volunteering at a camp for abused and neglected children. I followed my heart when I chose my college and became a tour guide at church historic sites during my summer vacations. Following my heart also led me to my first professional job out of college--working as a residence counselor in a group home for emotionally disturbed children. My biggest heart-based achievement to date has been raising my children.

Still, much of my life has been dominated by mind-based decisions. During my first marriage, I was obsessed with making sure my husband was happy--to the point I did almost nothing for myself. Those things I did do for myself I allowed him to sabotage because he was not happy unless the focus was on him. The only heart-based decision I stubbornly clung to was the one involving raising my children. That decision ultimately led to my divorce. It also took so much out of me I spent years recovering. My work life has also not been particularly fulfilling. I have mainly worked jobs that supplied me with the money I needed to live on, with little else to show for them.

I will be fifty-one in two days. I have spent close to forty years listening to my heart over my mind. I am wasting no more time. I will seek out every chance to follow my heart and my bliss.

When did you stop following your heart? How will you choose to change it? When we all choose to follow the wisdom and guidance that comes from listening to our hearts, the world will be a much kinder, brighter and better place. In my view, this is what is missing from the planet.

~CSE

The Only Person You Have The Power To Change Is Yourself!

There's a hilarious scene in the movie "Big Fat Greek Wedding" where the main character, Toula, her mother and her aunt try to convince her father to allow Toula to work at her aunt's travel agency. Because it is a very male dominated culture, they must convince the father it is his idea to have Toula work at the travel agency. To do this, they invent a problem where the logical solution is to have Toula work at the travel agency.

Manipulation is common in our society. We operate under the false belief that others can be convinced what we believe is "right" is truth and accept it. Sometimes our charasmatic appeals are listened to. At other times we use coercion or manipulation to get our way. The thing is, others rarely change because of anything we do. The fact of the matter is, we cannot change the energy of others through superior argument, manipulation or coercion--at least not in the long term. True change requires a shift in consciousness/energy, and that can only take place inside the person.

Think about the times you have experienced big shifts in your life. Were these changes the result of anything another person did or said, or was it because you observed something new and had to change your belief to fit the new information? True and lasting change is the result of shifting consciousness, and this is something that can only occur inside yourself.

How can we use this observation to change the world? The answer is to become a better you! It is up to each and every one of us to BE the change we want to see in the world. If you want to see more peace in the world, you have to BEcome peace. If you want to see more love in the world, you have to BEcome love. Change occurs in others when they observe something and understand that is either what they want or what they want to avoid. It all has to do with energy/frequency. How you BE in the world matters!

Live your life is such a way that your focus is on improving yourself. As you solve your own problems and become better, the people around you will take notice. Chances are they will want many of those same changes for themselves. At the point they ask about what you have done, go ahead and share. They will then be open and will more readily make the changes they need to take to improve themselves. It is not a quick process, but it is a lasting one.

~CSE