Happiness Depends On Where You Focus!

Like many of you, there has been tremendous upheaval in my life during the past few of months. For the past three and a half years, I have been responsible for exactly half of the upbringing of my granddaughter, who is the bright spot in my life. (The other half has been the responsibility of her other grandmother). Now that my husband has been diagnosed with early dementia and can no longer handle the responsibility of helping me take care of her, most of her care has been placed into the hands of her other grandmother. While I very much appreciate the fact that she is in capable and responsible hands, I feel very much as though I have lost her. To make matters worse, there is not a damn thing I can do about it without creating more devastation in my life.

So many questions and "what-if's" have been running through my head. Why am I and my husband going through this journey of dementia now? Why am I still in a job with such inconsistent hours and lousy pay? Why does my granddaughter need to be wretched away from me as she has? What if my financial and living situation changed into something where I would be able to take more consistent care of my granddaughter? And on and on ad nauseam. 

Notice the focus of the above questions: it is always about me. While my husband and granddaughter are mentioned, my questions do not look at the challenges they are facing. They do not take into account their needs throughout this process, and that is the problem!

The fact of the matter is, my granddaughter still needs fulltime care. My present work schedule is just not conducive to a toddler's needs. If truth be known, caring for my granddaughter has gotten more stressful under the present circumstances. Even when she is with me I know I am not at my best. It feels selfish and wrong to try to insist that she spend more time with me right now. As much as I hate to admit it, I am not what she needs right now. Her other grandmother is.

I am what my husband needs right now (as incapable as I feel). As I help him deal with the change, I also need to adapt myself and my life so that when he is no longer capable of helping I can make sure that all of our needs, financial and otherwise, are met. 

The irony of this whole situation is that I have been praying for major change in my life for at least a year now. I don't want to have to rely on the income I bring in from a dead-end job. I don't want to struggle to get by. I would like to wake up every morning with a smile on my face, knowing that my income is being brought to me through serving others with my talents and gifts in ways that heal the planet. I like to talk about how pain is part of the transition process toward better things, and yet when the pain is at my doorstep I holler just as loudly as the next guy!

When I focus on losing my granddaughter, I am miserable. It is only when I think about her needs that I am able to understand that my life needs to be about something different at present. I have enough on my plate with my husband's health and my job situation. My husband definitely needs me to be on top of things for his sake right now.

It is only when I begin to understand my role in the collective that I am once again able to see the light. I am able to let go of the whys and the what-ifs and free myself, knowing I have a role to play and allowing others to play theirs. I will get where I need to go. All is right in the world.

~CSE

Every Day Is A New Beginning!

My life has definitely not been going as planned. Most days I feel as though my potential is virtually untapped, even though I spend enormous energy attempting to make a difference in the world. Often, I am frustrated when I encounter people who say they want to change the world, but show no evidence of that desire in their actions. Even this blog has suffered of late as it becomes difficult to get my message of connection out to people caught up in separation programming.

As I see the light of dawn peeking through my window this morning, I am again reminded that there is a whole new day in front of me, still unblemished by the often callous and cruel world. I am able to leave the pain of yesterday behind to focus on what I can create in the world today!

Pain is as much of a choice as happiness. Yes, the world can beat me down. That doesn't mean I have to stay there. I can always choose to be thankful for what the pain has taught me and move beyond it.

Today I choose to move beyond the pain. Today I choose to live life to the fullest, building on the lessons I have acquired in this lifetime. My own personal happiness is definitely up to me!

Every day is a new beginning! Allow yourself to let go of the past and create the world you desire to live in!

~CSE

  

Re-Experiencing Happy

I have been going through some very big changes in my life. Consequently, there has been some sadness with the loss of certain things. At times such as these, it becomes increasingly important to do what I can to keep my energy/frequency at a high level. Lately, I've been doing a very simple exercise which helps me find my happy place once again.

I sit back in a quiet place, focus on my breathing a few minutes (which helps me keep my spirit within my body and in the present), and begin to ask myself some questions. I begin with, "What memories do I carry inside myself where I was happy?" I then progress to questions like, "What was it about this experience specifically that made me happy?" I try to ascertain if it was due to the people I was with, the type of experience, whether I felt good about myself in that moment, and other sorts of information that might be pertinent to happiness.

Once I have identified a happy experience, I use my imagination to put myself back into that moment. I see what was around me. I hear the sounds. I remember smells and tastes and any other sensory memory my mind can identify. Then I allow myself the luxury of sitting in that moment of bliss. Time stands still as I bask in the feelings of that moment. Within a very short time, I have regained my sense of happiness. Depression leaves and I feel much more energetic and empowered.

We all have the ability to raise our frequencies in times of pain or sadness. All it takes is a little focus and a few good memories to make you understand that life can be good again. Re-experiencing happy can be a way of life if this is what you choose to create. The choice is always yours.

~CSE

Of Family And Expectations

When I was still young and impressionable, I used to dream about the one perfect relationship that was meant for just me. My own parents had a good, solid marriage, and I just assumed that I would also be able to find the love of my life and raise a family together with this soulmate. That just didn't happen. I ended up divorced and alone with three very small children after a little over ten years of marriage.

I struggled with that for a very long time. It was difficult accepting I had failed--both for myself and my children. I hated knowing that I might not ever give my kids the home I had dreamed about with the white picket fence and two parents that loved them unconditionally. What tore me up even more is that my ex had already moved on. He could give my children something I considered more normal when they were with him and his new wife.

What I came to realize was that, even though I could not give my children what society considered "normal", I could still give them a good life. I managed to find myself a job that not only payed the bills, but allowed me to spend large quantities of time with my children. My kids had very full lives of school, church and activities, but we also spent time watching movies and enjoying each others' company. I could support them in the things they wanted to do but also help them hone in on their individual talents so their confidence and self esteem grew. Most of all, I loved them as much as another person could possibly love them. These things did not require two parents.

I also learned a great deal about myself along the way. I had become very dependent on my ex-husband, so much so that my identity had transformed into being his wife and the mother of his children. It's taken me years to appreciate that was not a healthy state to be in. The struggle of being a single mom helped me learn that I am important and that I am more than what I provide for others. I have my own talents. I have my own goals. I have my own contributions to make to the world besides being a mom.

There really is no such thing as "normal" (except perhaps as a washer setting). What is appropriate for one life may be totally inappropriate for another. What is important to understand is that life is about learning and growth and that we each have our own personalized lesson plan.

Families come in many forms. Sometimes families are biological. Sometimes families find each other. Sometimes they consist of two parents and children. Sometimes it might be one parent (or parent figure). What is important is that we not compare ourselves with others because what they need to learn may not be anything like what you need to learn.

When it comes to family, drop your expectations and enjoy what you have. The journey will be much more amazing when you accept what comes and allow yourself to find happiness on that particular path.

~CSE

Program Your Happy

As someone who has fought depression from early adolescence, I know a lot about pain and mental anguish. I also know that, like anything, depression is a choice. Although depression is an extremely difficult thing to step out of once you find yourself firmly there, there are many things you can do to turn yourself around.

Be Happy Techniques:

1. Pay attention to what you eat! Food is fuel, and there is a great deal of truth in the saying, "Garbage in, garbage out." Although you might get instantaneous pleasure from eating candy or chips, junk food will bring on a crash after that initial sugar rush. Make sure you are getting a good balance of fruits, veggies, protein, and fiber to balance out your moods. It can also be helpful to take a good quality multivitamin supplement to fill in gaps our normal diets do not fill. (Note this is not meant to be medical advice. Always talk to your healthcare provider when changing your healthcare regimen!)
2. Exercise! Practice yoga. Go walking. Go for a swim. Work in your garden. Clean your house. Ride a bike. Anything that gets you active and uses your muscles will help. That said, it is even better if you can find something that gives you some cardio benefits. This is because working out has the potential to increase your body's production of those feel-good endorphins. It can also help you sleep better by making your body physically tired. (Again, talk to your healthcare provider before making big changes in your daily regimen.)
3. Being thankful! Take the time to sit down and make a list of the good things in your life. It could be something as simple as sunshine in a clear blue sky or more complex like spending time in your favorite hobby. Write down as many things as you can think of, then spend time daily going over the list and imagining each one. When you spend time dwelling on the good things in your life, you can't help but improve your mood.
4. Ask for help! Pray. Meditate. Ask Source what you can do to becoming happier. Petition your angels for divine assistance. Ask family members, friends and coworkers to help you stay active and on task. You might start by saying something like, "I have been feeling a little down lately. Would you be willing to help me stay active and not let me be alone/get off task/etc.?" Most people really want to help, but they might not be aware that you are having problems with depression. We all go through times of sadness. It is not a weakness. It is all part of being human!

 You can do things to increase your own happiness! Take an active part in caring for yourself. After all, you are worth it!!!

~CSE

What Makes You HAPPY?

Lately, I have been on a kick where I try to define exactly what makes me happy. In the rat race that is life in the United States, I often get so preoccupied with DOing that I forget that sometimes it is more important to just BE and allow myself to enjoy my life.

While I have explored a lot of options, it is usually the little things that come back to me again and again that give me that overall feeling of happiness. Walking in the woods. Smelling the fall leaves or the spring flowers or the scent of the air just before or just after it rains. Colorful sunsets. Teasing my two-year-old granddaughter and being teased by her. Cuddling on the couch with my hubby watching an old movie. Listening to the sound of rain tapping on a tin roof. The scent of bread or cookies baking in the oven. Soaking in a warm bath with epsom salts and a little lavender. Writing a short story or a poem just for fun. Singing harmony with my mom and sisters. These are all simple things, but they are simple things I can use to remember all those times in my life when I felt loved, content and at peace. They definitely carry an energy all their own, and a very powerful and light energy at that.

So what is it that makes you happy? What brings you joy? What puts you in a state of bliss? What activities can you lose yourself and just enjoy BEing? Make a list, and keep it handy so that you can add to it and use it as a reminder of what is really important in life.

Look at your list daily. Notice if you have actually done anything on the list that day. If you haven't, is there something you did that made you happy and was not on your list? Add it to your list! If nothing made you happy, spend at least a few minutes before going to sleep allowing yourself to BE happy!

Happiness is like anything else. The more you practice, the better you get! Furthermore, when you are happy you change your frequency to something infinitely light and abundant. When you put that sort of energy out into the Universe, at some point it will come back to you!

Spend a little time BEing happy every day. It may just become the habit you need to totally change your life!!!

~CSE

 BE Happy!!!