The Sacred Journey Of Rock Bottom

At some point in time, we all hit rock bottom. While most of us see this as a negative, the expedition to rock bottom is probably one of the most positive and profound spaces we can occupy during the course of our lifetimes.

The journey to rock bottom is a sacred journey. It is lined with problems and missteps. We arrive broken, battered, beaten, discouraged, but this is where the magic begins to happen! As we attempt to pick up the pieces of our lives and put ourselves back together, we become open to new information--new solutions! We see possibilities we were unable to see before because we were mired in limited perspective. We arrive at a point in our lives where we allow ourselves to think and act in new ways. We grow. We change. We become better.

And our lives improve. They may not improve overnight. Climbing out of the pit can be tough work. Quite often we slip back into old patterns of behavior and fall again. Still, growth occurs with each new step up. Pulling ourselves up contains the added benefit of making us stronger.

I have hit several rock bottoms throughout the course of my lifetime. With the added benefit of hindsight, I can now see how those experiences grew me as a human being. The scars that are part of my journey have become badges of honor as I use them to remember the growth that has taken place. I can appreciate who I am and the odyssey that made me that way. It is in this sacred journey of rock bottom that I find peace.

~CSE

My Christmas Wish For You!

Twenty-sixteen has been a struggle for many of us. Illness, death, financial struggles, employment setbacks all seem to have combined to create massive upheaval and chaos in our lives. The energies have been intense and not particularly pleasant for those of us who have chosen to become more than we are at present.

You may feel that all is lost and there is not much hope, but understand these are exciting times we reside in! It is through pain and struggle that we become so much more. Life is not lived on the mountain tops, but in the valleys and slogging up and down the sides of the mountain. Yes, the view from the top is great, but is is only the pain of the journey that allows us to see it.

As I sit here in the quiet of this Christmas morning, I feel the pain and struggles of humanity. While I know this too shall pass, it doesn't make the process any less comfortable. We will continue to struggle in the year ahead, but I do believe 2017 is a year we will begin to see significant change. The more we allow ourselves to go with the process, the more quickly and easily the process becomes.

My wish for you in the coming year is that you learn to appreciate the process! Understand change only happens through great pressure. Many of us undergo the adjustment kicking and screaming because we are being removed from our comfortable ruts. Becoming better is not easy or pleasant, but it is required if we desire to live in a better world.

Merry Christmas! May 2017 be the year you break out of the dark cocoon of your imprisonment and learn to use your wings!

~CSE

New Life From the Rubble

My life has certainly not gone according to plan. Lately it seems as though all hell has broken loose and I am in the middle of a storm that threatens to overwhelm me. Tears have been a daily occurrence as the stresses of my life continue to rage.

One thought keeps me going through the chaos. All the big, powerful changes in my life have been the result of my world breaking apart. The process is always rough and painful. Change is painful. We become so comfortable in our ruts that being forced out of them makes us scream in anguish. In order to see our way out of the pain, we have to think and act differently. We BEcome new creations!

In those moments when you believe your life is breaking apart, remember that new life emerges from the fragments! Keep going!

~CSE

  

Thankful For The Darkness

There are times in life where it doesn't rain but it pours. My life in recent weeks has reflected this as I struggle with my mom's approaching heart surgery, my husband's health problems, my oldest son's wedding, car problems, etc. It seems as though everything in my life has culminated in one perfect storm and I am at a loss with how to cope with it all. That said, this morning as I sit in quiet meditation I am thankful for the darkness that surrounds me.

I have survived a lot of perfect storms in my life. I was saved from a cult that blinded me when I was a young adult seeking truth. I lived through a very painful episode where my first daughter died less than a day after her birth. I was terribly broken and drained from my first marriage and subsequent divorce--so much so it took almost ten years to restore myself to some degree of normalcy. The turn of events I now find myself in is not exceptional as far as my life goes.

The thing is, all these major challenges in my life have done amazing things for me. The cult experience taught me that I am indeed directly connected to God/Source and I need to rely on that connection for my answers and guidance instead of on what other people tell me. The death of my infant daughter taught me how to be compassionate in the face of blinding loss. The demise of my first marriage and subsequent rebuilding of myself from the ground up taught me what my strengths and weaknesses are and what I deserve and don't deserve from life. Yes, the pain from all these events was significant, but in process I was able to overcome major obstacles. This is where the most powerful growth comes from. As difficult as these situations were, they changed me in very positive ways. I will never be the same and I am blessed because of it.

As I sit, wondering where my life is going to go from here, I am reassured there is light somewhere around the corner. Great darkness brings powerful change (and ironically, I have been praying for powerful change to come into my life). It appears it is indeed time for me to move into the next phase of my earthly existence.

Great change is the result of weathering great difficulties. It is darkness that prompts a person to make the changes necessary to forge a new life path. Darkness always precedes the light. Although I am in the midst of the darkness, I am thankful. I know I am experiencing a very powerful growth process, and this knowing brings me peace.

~CSE

  

    

You Are Not Your Mistakes

We have all been taught to believe mistakes are bad things. Mistakes are learning things. They are tools we use to learn about the world around us, nothing more. The shame and guilt we are trained to hold on to because of our mistakes only serve to keep us trapped in blocked, stagnant energy. Mistakes can bring awareness and even healing if we allow ourselves to gain the benefits of them.

You are a divine BEing of light and love. Don't allow your mistakes to define who you are and where you can go in life. Instead, allow your mistakes to grow you. Your life will never be the same!

~CSE

Supplying The Contrast

It never ceases to amaze me how many people cling to their politics--particularly spiritual people. If you mention anything that goes against what they believe and/or is something they don't want to hear they immediately react and have to argue why you're wrong. I have to confess, there are times when I rise to the bait even though I know better. Politics consistently supply the contrast we came to discover in this world of duality.

What does supplying the contrast mean exactly? Contrast is the play and pull between two seemingly different or even opposite things. Supplying the contrast means encountering a situation that places something new or different directly in our path. We then use these encounters to learn and grow. At least, that is the ultimate goal of the contrast.

We don't always choose to learn. On many occasions the contrast is so disturbing for us that we first get angry and then we shut down. We deny there is anything new for us to learn--we know it all and there is nothing here left to see. Of course, that is far from the truth. Anything that sets us off in such an extreme way is a valuable clue we have an issue that needs to be resolved.

My personal belief is that we come to this three-dimensional world to study this contrast and learn from it. We come from a place I like to call Oneness, where we are all connected and everything works together for the good of the whole. Because duality was created by separating out individual things (darkness from light, heavens from water, plants from animals from people, etc.) we are able to look at these pieces in new and interesting ways.

We have made the contrasts about separation itself. We look at those people and things that are different from us, and we push them away. It is too scary to accept those things we do not know and understand. The irony is, when we take the time to try to understand something different from ourselves, we end up learning that, deep down, we are truly one and the same.

The next time you encounter something you vehemently feel is wrong, sit back and ask yourself why you feel this way. Explore it. Ask different questions about it. Learn why it is important to someone else. You may just gain a whole new way of thinking that will expand and grow who you are in the world.

~CSE

   

The Perfection Of Imperfection

Most of us are living a lie. We are told we need to be perfect--to jump through the neat little hoops that society has laid out for us. We do our best to be good citizens and human beings, falling short time and time again. Mistakes are us, and we feel bad when we make them because we should somehow be able to stop ourselves from making them.

We justify this state of affairs by saying we are only human--that human beings are imperfect and can't be held to standards of perfection. Only God (or his only begotten son) can truly be perfect.

Many of us continue to slog through this life, making mistake after mistake. Sometimes we continue making the same mistakes over and over again. These are the times we scratch our heads and beat ourselves up over our transgressions.

The simple fact is, we didn't come to this 3D existence to be perfect. We came to learn. We came to grow. We came to get dirty, get in trouble, make mistakes...and make them again. It isn't about maintaining a squeaky clean appearance. It's about imperfection!

When we live in perfection, we learn nothing. We don't appreciate what we have because there is no contrast to show us--no valley of death that makes us appreciate what life has to offer.

There is perfection in our imperfection. It is our mistakes, our struggles, our conflicts, our problems that help us engage in both the light and dark sides of the spectrum. We are able to learn in a more well-rounded way. It is our imperfections that work together to make us perfect.

~CSE

The Power Of Letting Go

Like most people, I struggle with change. I can be so invested in what is--whether it be relationships, jobs, or material possessions--that I stubbornly cling to them for dear life. That said, there comes a time when the pain of holding on becomes too difficult to deal with. That is the point you have to make a choice. You have to choose between clinging so hard that what you cling to is destroyed, or you have to be willing to let go and risk losing it altogether.

Choosing to let go, in and of itself, is a painful process. It involves separation. It involves the potential of falling. You can never be sure something else will be there to catch you or even fall into. You don't know if you're going to encounter more pain along the way.

When you make the choice to let something go, you are acknowledging to the Universe that you are giving up something that is no longer healthy or appropriate for you. You signal that you are ready to give space to something that is potentially greater. By letting go you are making room to include something new in your life.

I have had to make some tough personal choices lately involving relationships. Because they were with people I love very dearly, I did not want to let go and potentially not have those people in my life. Still, I had reached the point where I knew that if I was not willing to let go of those relationships willingly they might destruct anyway. I choose to face my fear and allow myself to let them go. This turned out to be a freeing move for all involved. It gave us the space to grow in ways I did not anticipate.

Sometimes it is only in letting go that we are able to free ourselves from all that holds us back. We can shift into new places and spaces as we leave the confines of our former lives behind. That is the power to letting go.

~CSE

Be Careful What You Wish For

Lately, I've been excited by the possibilities for change. I look out at a population that is beginning to wake up from a long sleep and see the potential the world has to offer us all. It has emboldened me to ask for great personal change in my own life. It also makes me question my own sanity.

Change is difficult at the best of times. That's because change--even small change--requires breaking down and discarding things that no longer work. We believe we want things to be different, but when those things we have used to support ourselves with begin to crumble away we cling to them for dear life and wonder why they are slipping away!

Change requires great courage. You have to understand when you seek change you are telling the Universe you are ready to learn something (and lean on something) new. You have to believe the Universe has your back and will not let you fall, even when all you see is the edge of the cliff.

Understand you may stumble and fall along the way. Sometimes you might fall a long way. The key to swiftly navigating change lies in your ability to understand that somewhere in the confusion and pain there is benefit. Somewhere in the chaos, new life springs forth. It is this new life that brings the gifts you have longed for!

Be careful what you wish for. The process can be painful even when the change is worth it!

~CSE

The Willingness To Allow

I always find it intriguing when I set off other people's trigger points. I don't do things with the goal of setting people off, although I do admit there are many occasions where I give out information for people to consider. I have no problem when they think about the issue and still come to the same conclusion. I believe that is part of their journey and part of their BEing. We all have different things we want to explore and learn about in this 3D existence.

This time I posed a question on Facebook. My post reads as follows:

I am curious. For those of you who have changed your profile pictures to French flag colors, how do you want to support the French people? Are you planning on bringing peace, or are you ready to go to war (which is the goal of world leadership and corporations)? If peace, how are YOU going to promote it?

This was just after the horrible events that took place in Paris on Friday the 13th (Nov. 13, 2015).My overall goal with the post was to get people to think about how they could support the concepts of peace instead of those of war. I believe the people who planned this attack desire the world go to war, and I want to do what I can to foil those plans. For me, focusing on peace is the way.

Most of the people who responded to my post did post about peace. However, one person was set off to the point where they first told me that if I believed this was a false flag attack I should unfriend them immediately. I then asked them to define what a false flag attack was and gave them my definition. I also told them it was up to them to unfriend me if they still felt that way. They did unfriend me, and that's okay. It is not for me to change them.

I wish this person would have responded to the question specifically posed to them. I really do want to understand where they are coming from--thoughts, emotions, rationale, etc. As it is, I can only read/feel into it. What I feel (or what my heart tells me) is that they were so threatened by the idea this attack was planned by something bigger than religious extremists they had to lash out at the person who made them consider the thought (me).

Lately when I get triggered in a big way, I try to look at the situation from many angles. I start by asking questions such as, "What about this situation intimidates me?" or "What emotion am I feeling and what do I need to learn from this situation?" This is where I will sit with the information and allow it to sink in. This is where I consciously connect to my heart and search for answers. It is my process for healing and growth and an approach that allows me to quickly work through the energetic blocks in my life.

It is important to understand it is possible to embrace differences. We all experience different things, like different things, believe different things. There is no way we are going to convince all people that what we believe is right, correct or even true. Life is not about changing others. It is about growing and learning. It is about becoming better than you were before. It's about changing self.

The willingness to allow involves both allowing others to BE who they are and allowing ourselves to learn from those experiences we might consider negative. It is in these ways we overcome our own problems to create a better world.

To the person who unfriended me: I still love you. May peace accompany you on your continued journey.

~CSE

Healing Thru Forgiveness: An Invitation

Several years ago when my youngest son was still in high school, I realized I would have some extra time on my hands in very short order. I didn't want to be one of those moms who have nothing left to accomplish once their children are grown. I decided to figure out what my dreams were, and I set out on a course to fulfill them. In the process, my writing progressed into the blog you see before you, designed to help people connect to their hearts and the voice of God within. Still, there seemed to be more I wasn't getting. In just the past couple of weeks, my thoughts and desires have melded into one perfect whole I am calling Healing Thru Forgiveness.

The concept is just what it sounds like, using forgiveness to heal. It isn't exactly new and different, but as I look back on my life I realize I have been preparing for this possibility most of my existence. I have encountered many opportunities to forgive and to be forgiven. In the process, I have learned to heal myself and others and forge ahead to much more positive outcomes and possibilities. They are ideas that don't require any special healer other than yourself, and I am happy to share them with you so that you can become a happier, healthier you.

In a nutshell, the process involves identifying all those blocks you need to work past (others, yourself, your experiences and your programming) and actively and consciously let them go. There are many ways to do this. I plan on sharing them in this blog, writing about them in book form, developing workshops, and acting as facilitator to help you work through your own process. I can't wait to see the changes, both in myself and in you!!!

Sometimes it takes a lifetime for an idea to come together and make sense. It is time for all of us to come together and heal ourselves. When we heal our own energy, we in turn become the frequency that heals the whole world. Join me?

~CSE

  

The Secret

While I am definitely a fan of the movie and book of the same title, this is not going to be a rehash of the Law of Attraction. For me, this particular secret is even more powerful because it involves one overriding principle that, when understood, can mean the difference between claiming your own personal power or letting it go. The secret is simple. Your life is all about you! It sounds rather selfish and self-centered, but let me explain.

We have been conditioned to believe our lives are dependent on what we can do for something besides ourselves. The focus could be God or family or friends or your country or the world or many other things. Regardless of the focus, believing we should devote ourselves to something outside ourselves is all that is needed to convince people to give up their personal power. Your life becomes dependent on listening to what the needs of others are and following those leads.

When we look to find meaning outside ourselves we are not consulting our hearts. We are not consulting Oneness. We are not attempting to find the answers in the one place that actually holds all the answers!!! It then becomes easy for people who collect power to convince you to hand your power over to them because they, of course, are working for the exact focus of your life! They know what you should do and will even be happy to help you do it!!!

The fact of the matter is, consulting your heart first and foremost cannot possibly be selfish or self-centered because your heart takes the big picture into account and works for the good of the whole. Living from the heart is not about ego. It's about allowing the world to flow naturally and asking your heart to show you all those places you fit into it.

We are not here to teach or show people how to live. We are not here to fix what is broken in them. That is their job. They are here to have their own learning experiences, just as we are here to have our own. Your life is all about you! Appreciate the opportunities for growth you have been given as you journey through this life. Be willing to take responsibility for it!!!

~CSE

        

The Blessing In The Struggle

There are times when I look back at things that happened in my life and think, "This would have made excellent material for a soap opera!" There was the time I spent in a cult, fortunately escaping before the leader got put on death row for killing other cult members. There was the time I lost my firstborn child to a terrible infection shortly after she was born. Then there was my divorce and all the years I spent as a single mom, going through the struggles of raising three kids on my own, two of whom had special needs. Yes, soap opera material for sure!

Even though I make the above statement in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way, I definitely had my share of very real struggles. Oddly enough, I no longer see those experiences as struggles though. I see them as blessings.

Each one of those experiences gave me valuable insights into myself, other people and life. Having to wade through the muck forced me to look for new ways of doing things because my old ways of doing things were not effective in those situations. The effort it took to get through such experiences made me much stronger than I was before.

When I look back at all the experiences of my life--both positive and negative, one thing stands out. The high points always felt good (thrilling even), but their only real value was as respite from the storm. It was the low points where I actually grew, becoming a better, stronger, more capable person.

How you view your struggles is your choice. I choose to see my struggles as opportunities for growth and progress. There are blessings in the struggle when you choose to see them and use them to forge new pathways in your life.

~CSE

Why Beat Yourself Up?

I spent way too many years beating myself up. Whenever I made a mistake or did something wrong, I would fixate on it, condemning myself and vowing it would never happen again. At those times when it did happen again, my self-condemnation would take me so low I would be powerless to do anything.

As I look back on my life, I understand how programmed I was. I grew up in a Christian home, which brings its own forms of misery. One of the worst is growing up with the idea you need to hold yourself to perfect standards (aka be like Jesus), understanding the whole time that you are an imperfect sinner! How is that supposed to work exactly? It is inevitable you will screw up, being the imperfect human you are. Is life just meant to be full of self incrimination and punishment?

Yes, I am imperfect. Yes, I makes mistakes, and you know what? THAT IS OKAY WITH ME!!! The fact of the matter is, in those moments I have done everything right I have not learned much. I may have a fleeting moment of pride in myself that quickly fades with my next mistake.

As I look back on my life, I understand my mistakes have allowed me to learn. My mistakes have allowed me to grow. My mistakes motivate me toward new solutions. Mistakes are not the problems. Believing mistakes make you somehow bad or wrong is the problem! Dwelling on mistakes you've made only serves to waste valuable time you could be using to work out solutions!

You are a beautiful, wonderful and powerful being of light and love! You deserve to be treated so much better than what the world has provided for you until this point! Learn to accept that beauty and use it to BE the light that you are in the world!

~CSE

Change Your Perception, Change Your Outcome

I came into contact with the work of Dr. Wayne Dyer over nineteen years ago--around the time I became a single mom. Over the years, his thoughts and words became a source of hope and inspiration for someone who needed frequent help remembering what is important in life. Although I mourn his death, those things he left behind continue to illumine and empower me.

I have watched his movie "The Shift" several times this week. Each time, it has enabled me to see past the expectations I have for myself and my life. Each time, I have a growing awareness of how all the circumstances in my life that seem "bad" are really just there to help me learn. As I become thankful for those same things, my life begins to "shift" in unexpected ways. Blocks that were there because of my expectations of the way things were supposed to be are removed because I no longer see them as problems. I invite them--even encourage them--to come into my life. I don't judge them. I allow them (and that is why they are no longer blocks).

For example, my relationship with my daughter has always been rockier than my relationships with my sons. My daughter is very different from me. I have a tendency to work within society's guidelines, even while being a rebel in my mind. My daughter is definitely someone who marches to her own drummer. For someone as perfectionistic as I am, having a daughter who does not do things the way society deems them appropriate has been difficult.

However, after immersing myself in the thoughts and feelings "The Shift" brings out, I am looking at my relationship with her in a whole new light. Instead of seeing her rebellion and problems as negative things, I am beginning to perceive them as part of her growth and, inevitably, part of mine. The really cool part is, as I leave the struggle--the block--behind, my daughter's anger and frustration are decreasing. As I no longer feel like I am responsible for her and allow her to be more responsible for herself, she is growing in her ability to be responsible. We still have a ways to go, but things are changing for the better. While I don't expect things to be perfect, I do expect the problems that show up to be there in utter perfection.

Dr. Dyer's quote is really true! "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." When you begin to see the world's problems in their infinite perfection and become thankful for what they can teach you, the problems have a way of working themselves out. They are no longer problems but tools for growth and development!

When you change your perceptions, you change your outcomes. The power has always been within.

~CSE

Are You Too Comfortable?

Do  you ever feel as though you are stuck in life? Maybe you are at a pretty good place, but you see more out there and crave some of it? If you can't seem to get to the next level, the question you should be asking yourself is, "Am I too comfortable?"

Often, we see comfort as a good place to be. It feels safe. It feels secure. It feels like home. We know what to expect and how much we can accomplish. After all, we do it every day...and that's where the problems begin.

If you continue to do the same things you have always done, you cannot expect growth or change. Living in the rut may feel safe and secure, but doing the same old thing day after day will only make the rut deeper. The longer you continue on in the same deep path, the more difficult change becomes.

Now that you have established you are in a rut and need to change, what can you do to step out of your comfort zone? Sometimes, changing something small can create enough discomfort to take you out of your everyday rut. The follow is a list of ideas you can use to help yourself acclimate to the feelings change brings about in your life.

Small changes that create BIG growth:

1. Take a new route to work! Just getting out of your normal daily routine can be enough change to help you see new possibilities!
2. Take on a new hobby! Expanding your mind and body by learning something new not only creates new neural pathways in your brain but also gives you feelings of accomplishment.
3. Explore a place you've been wanting to learn more about! Maybe you've thought about touring a local museum or hiking a new trail. Allow yourself to go outside your normal routines to access new things to do.
4. Meet new people! Join a club where people gather to discuss hobbies or topics you enjoy. Talk to people at the grocery store. You never know where you might meet someone who can help you see a new way of doing things that will promote growth.
5. Explore the interests of people who are important to you! Not only will this assist with new perspectives, but this has the added benefit of helping you become closer to your loved one through shared experience. 

Stepping into the uncomfortable is mandatory for anyone wanting to make significant changes in their lives. Allow the little things to shake up your routine enough to prepare you for the bigger changes you want to accomplish!!!

~CSE

Revisiting 9/11

As long as I live, I will never forget that day. The horror and shock of it all will be forever etched in my brain. I was a daycare teacher with a classroom of one-year-olds. I had already been working for an hour or two when news of the first plane hitting the World Trade Center was brought to my classroom by a float teacher. We were stunned that such an accident should happen, but work went on as usual. Shortly thereafter the same teacher came back in the room and told us a second plane had hit the other twin tower. As we stood contemplating the odds, the same teacher came in a third time and told us the Pentagon had also been hit. It was at that moment we had to admit to ourselves that someone had plotted this savage attack on American soil.

Feelings of panic and overwhelm set in as I contemplated the number of people that might have been in the building that day. News reports continued to show pictures of the second plane hitting, the burning buildings, and their ultimate collapse, which added to the heaviness of my heart. There was so much pain at the thought of the death and destruction. The whole world stood back in shock and grief over the events of that day.

It took well over a year for me to look at a plane overhead and not see a savage weapon. I accepted "the facts" as the government laid them out, never questioning the official story. I believed that the United States was being attacked by a foreign terrorist and that it was important for our safety to find that terrorist wherever he chose to hide and bring him to justice.

I didn't not want to believe that someone inside my own country might have had reason to commit such an atrocity. I wanted to believe that the people in charge were a lot like me--basically good but making mistakes along the way. The fact of the matter is, I was not at a point in my life where I was willing to look at truth.

Truth never changes. It never goes away even though we choose to ignore it. As time went on, I began to question other subjects where the facts did not add up--topics that were not quite as insidious as 9/11 that were easier for my mind to handle. After quite a few years, there came a day when I was ready to admit there might be more to the 9/11 story than I had been willing to see at the time it happened.

Some of the most compelling evidence came from a group called Architects and Engineers For 9/11 Truth. A video they put out entitled, "Solving The Mystery Of Building Seven" held some intriguing information that was largely left out of the whole 9/11 puzzle. It focused on World Trade Center 7, which also collapsed that day even though no planes hit it and falling debris from the twin towers did not overwhelm it (as they fell in their own footprints). The brief documentary makes a good case for WTC 7 coming down in a controlled demolition.

Part of the reason the group put this particular video out is to point out that building 7 collapsed within its own footprint at freefall speeds--just as the Twin Towers did. It uses experts witnesses to explain how the government's story has a good many holes in it. It uses sound logic--at least for those who have enough courage to finally confront truth.

It's been several years since I have had the fortitude to look at the truth of that day. While the facts were hard for me to accept, they have also brought me a curious new freedom. I broke out of my programmed little box and allowed myself to ask new questions and see new information.

Even though I understand there is great evil in the world, I also know there is great goodness. We all have the power to tap into this goodness and use it to improve the world around us. It is not an easy process, nor is it a quick one. However, little by little, we are beginning to change the outcomes. By tapping into our awareness and seeking out new information, we are starting to have the upper hand. We are exposing the evil to our light every day, forcing it out into the open. At some point, the evil will be overwhelmed by the transparency and will no longer be able to hide.

In many respects, 9/11 woke me up to my role in allowing evil to take hold of the world through my denial of its existence. It has forced me to stand up and take responsibility for what has happened and  allowed me to shine my personal light on truth.

Life's greatest lessons often result from terrible tragedy. As we revisit and remember the tragedy of 9/11, may we appreciate the fact that it has become an amazing catalyst for change. May it continue to help us evolve into a people of light, peace and love.

~CSE

        

Enjoy The Journey

When I was ten, the world was a wonderful and exciting place. School came pretty easily to me, although I'll admit I was much more focused on friends and on having fun than on academics. I was well-liked by people my own age as well as adults. I was not afraid to be myself (very much the lion I was born to be). I smiled a lot, and I found it easy to use this gift to put a smile on the face of those I came into contact with.

When I was twenty, I met the man I believed to be the love of my life and got married. I was wrapping up a bachelor's degree in psychology with plans to go on to higher education and the counseling field. My adolescent years had been spent creating self doubt, and I had worked hard to overcome my self esteem issues. Several summers during my college career were spent tour guiding--the job I still think of as my best job ever. They also put me into contact with a cult leader named Jeff Lundgren (which is a whole story in and of itself).

When I was thirty, my marriage was falling apart, although I didn't really know it at the time. I was a shell of my former self, wholly devoted to my role of wife and stay-at-home mom with three very young children. Looking back, I understand that even though I was happy playing the wife and mother role, I allowed it to take a huge toll on who I was. I was so enmeshed in my identity as wife and mother that it was hard to tell where my husband left off and where I began. I was fully engaged in giving. I did very little to receive.

When I was forty, I was not very happy with my life. I had fallen into a career as a daycare teacher years before when I suddenly found myself to be a single mom. While it gave me the opportunity I craved to raise my children the way I wanted, it was not particularly fulfilling for me. I was also very lonely. I had dated on and off since my divorce, but I was still not quite whole enough to understand what I truly deserved in a relationship.

Today, I am fifty, and I feel as though I have come full circle. I've spent the last couple of years planning where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be as my children have left the nest. For the first time in a long time, I've had the opportunity to think about myself and what I really wanted. I no longer feel unworthy as I allow my voice to be expressed in the world. I am no longer lonely as I have found a companion who treats me well and whose company I enjoy.

As I look back at my life, I can see the progress I have made. My course has not been steady. In fact, it's been much more of a roller coaster ride. Although I have dedicated my life to others, I understand now my journey has never been about others. It has always been about me. My choices. My actions. Lessons learned. My own personal happiness depends on the consideration I give myself. I am finally at a place in life where I can allow myself to be who I am, unafraid of the consequences. I know that whatever happens, it's all part of the growth process.

Life is not about perfection. It's about learning to be human, flaws and all. Allowing ourselves to make mistakes enables us to grow in profound ways. The most magnificent treasures we acquire are the lessons we learn when life is most difficult. Enjoy the journey, bumps and all.

~CSE

Stress And The Changing World

I often notice that what happens to me in the micro of my life also happens in the macro of my life. In the micro, I am struggling with the stress of assisting an adult child into a new phase of his personal development and growth. In the macro, I am doing the same thing with the planet. Both are painful. Both are stressful.

Stress energies around the globe are at an all time high right now. The fall of Greece's economy is a prelude to world change because of how intimately their economy is tied to the economies of almost every other country in the world (thanks to the New World Order's banking monopoly). Those who cling to power are struggling as they are being forced to let go of that power. We the People are struggling as we begin to step up and accept more power/responsibility for ourselves. Mother Earth is struggling as she attempts to rid herself of the disease, violence and destruction she has been subjected to. It's as if one huge voice is crying out in pain!

The process of change is difficult because there are unknowns involved. We know how to function within our own little boxes we have created for ourselves, but what happens when we step outside of those boxes? Many times we make mistakes which can be awkward and bring even more stress. It's those unanticipated missteps that we fear most.

Still, without those unanticipated missteps we cannot grow. Movement in any direction inevitably teaches something--even if what you learn is that you do not like that consequence. The point is to always keep moving. Eventually, you will hit upon something that you instinctively know in your heart is the path you need to follow.

Understand the way can be much easier if you stop long enough to ground yourself and connect directly to your heart. Because your heart is connected to the wisdom and experience of Oneness, your heart can guide you to make better choices. Stay connected and listen to the advice it gives!!!

The world is in a state of great chaos and change. There will be stress. There will be pain. Know that stress and pain are temporary states that will pass as we learn to make those heart choices which will assist us in creating a much more beautiful world.

~CSE