Leaving The Past In the Past

As the old year draws to a close, I've had some rather interesting insights into my life thus far. The most profound one involves many of the people I know and love from my past. I have realized it is time to come to a parting of ways. Although I hold fond memories of them, we are on very different journeys and it is time for me to let go of those connections as they are holding me back.

From the time I was a small child, I have been the sort of person to say, "I found this new and exciting place! Come see it with me!" I was always a leader. I was always happiest exploring, questioning, creating, and I wanted to bring other people along for the ride! This is much more easily done when you are a child and your friends are all young. Children are much more open to new experiences. By the time you become an adult, you have found your comfort zone. You understand how your world works (or how you want it to work). Adults are no longer interested in exploring or questioning. They have it all figured out and life is good. I have tried so hard to bring my friends with me on my present journey. The thing is, they do not want to come.

My grief has been profound. I love these people! I expected they would want to go on the journey with me. I was wrong. With each new idea that has challenged and excited me, my old friends have not been impressed or enthused. Most of them just think I'm crazy.

While this part of my journey saddens me, it is not all bad. I have found new friends--people who share my vision and are walking the same path. I am not alone. I am just no longer able to walk with my friends from the past.

I am finally beginning to understand I need to leave these friends behind. While I would love for them all to come with me, I know they are not ready to go there. They may never be ready to go there, and that is okay. I still love them and wish them a good life.

It is time for me to embrace this new journey. That requires packing my bags and walking out the door. I will not look back except to appreciate how that part of my journey grew me as a person. I will leave the past in the past and forge ahead into my new life.

The Benefits of Painful Experience

The past year has been one of the most painful and difficult journeys of my life so far. That said, I wouldn't change a thing!

The Sacred Journey Of Rock Bottom

At some point in time, we all hit rock bottom. While most of us see this as a negative, the expedition to rock bottom is probably one of the most positive and profound spaces we can occupy during the course of our lifetimes.

The journey to rock bottom is a sacred journey. It is lined with problems and missteps. We arrive broken, battered, beaten, discouraged, but this is where the magic begins to happen! As we attempt to pick up the pieces of our lives and put ourselves back together, we become open to new information--new solutions! We see possibilities we were unable to see before because we were mired in limited perspective. We arrive at a point in our lives where we allow ourselves to think and act in new ways. We grow. We change. We become better.

And our lives improve. They may not improve overnight. Climbing out of the pit can be tough work. Quite often we slip back into old patterns of behavior and fall again. Still, growth occurs with each new step up. Pulling ourselves up contains the added benefit of making us stronger.

I have hit several rock bottoms throughout the course of my lifetime. With the added benefit of hindsight, I can now see how those experiences grew me as a human being. The scars that are part of my journey have become badges of honor as I use them to remember the growth that has taken place. I can appreciate who I am and the odyssey that made me that way. It is in this sacred journey of rock bottom that I find peace.

~CSE

The Journey Home

We come into this 3rd dimensional world to experience the ultimate separation. Here we are separate from our surroundings, each other and even ourselves. This enables us to understand things in their individuality, increasing our insights and knowledge about how things exist.

Quite often, this state of separation comes with problems and traumas which further increase our sense of loneliness. Our journeys in this 3D world are not for the faint of heart! It takes real courage to stand firm and not become embittered by the struggle.

The irony in all this is that we are not separate. While we experience separation and often believe this is reality, we are always connected through our hearts. Love is the energy that binds us all together and makes us One, and we can find this connection any time we choose to remember it.

The ultimate lesson in life is not about functioning in separation. We are here to remember the Oneness we came from and allow it to harmonize our individual pieces so we can function in wholeness.

The journey of life is a process of exploration in which we ultimately discover our way back home.
~CSE

Why We're Here

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once wrote,

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.

To me, the difference in the two statements is profound. The first statement places us firmly in an imperfect state with perfection as the goal. The second acknowledges our perfection and our desire to play and experiment in a messy world.

If you haven't figured it out yet, this human life is not about perfection. It is complicated. It is chaotic. There are times we jump out of the frying pan directly into the fire. While there can be big rewards there can also be massive failures. It's all part of the process. It's what we signed up for!

That's right. We signed up for this! As crazy as it sounds, we signed up for this pain and nastiness! Why? We signed up because we wanted to learn what it was like to experience everything in the Oneness through the experience of individuality. This life of individuality, or duality as it is called, is the perfect vehicle to experience those things we already knew in unfamiliar and different ways.

Our 3D existence is a world of separation. I find the creation story in the Bible fascinating in regards to this concept. In the first book in the first chapter (Genesis, Chapter 1), it describes how God began pulling individual things out of what exists. He said, "Let there be light," and he separated it from the darkness. He continues to separate the heaven from the earth, the waters from the land, and then begins to pull plants and animals and even people out of the Void (or Oneness as I like to call it).

When we chose to experience this mess, we knew it would be a rough ride. We knew there was the potential to experience profound joy. We also understood that it could develop our souls in profound and unique ways. We believed the journey was worth it.

Understand that whatever good or bad you are experiencing now is all part of that process. Be thankful that you have been given such an opportunity and have made it this far! There is a beauty and richness that comes from traveling through dark places that you would never have fully understood without this experience. This is why we're here.

~CSE

Awaken To Self

Did you know that you are an infinite being of light and love? Did you know you are deserving of all the good things the world has to offer? Although this understanding is deep in the core of your being, you may be so disconnected from yourself that you forget these simple facts. It is time to remember who you are! It is time to awaken to self!

Take the time to get to know yourself better! I find the best time for deep self-understanding is to actually contemplate who I am during meditation time. Here is a list of questions to get started and re-acquaint yourself with you!

Questions For Self-Discovery

1. What is important to me in life? Family and friends? Career? Etc.
2. What things am I most proud of and give me a sense of accomplishment? List some of my experiences where I felt accomplished.
3. What activities bring me the most joy?
4. What are my talents and skills? How can I incorporate these things into my daily life if they are not already there on a daily basis?
5. What do I value about myself?

This is not meant to be an all-inclusive list of questions for self-discovery. These questions are merely designed as a place to begin. Hopefully they will lead you to many more questions that will help you remember who exactly you are and where you hope to go in life! 

When we are awakened to self, we are more likely to tap into life purpose. We are more likely to allow ourselves to be who we are and enjoy the journey. Time to remember who you are so you have the opportunity to fulfill your life's purpose!

~CSE

Someone Else's Journey Is NOT Up To You!!!

In an ancient past lifetime, I came into contact with a very aggressive and controlling personality. This person did some really evil things that hurt people I loved and affected me deeply. Karma acted quickly and decisively in that instance and he was killed. Several months ago, I realized this same energy had shown back up in my life and was once again hurting people I love. The relationships are different, and I am now in a position to understand what created such destructive anger.

As I meditated on this situation, several insights appeared. The first is that I am apparently attracting this energy back into my life. The second is that this energy is trying to gain something from me. The third is that I made a formal agreement on some level that is allowing this person back into my life. I believe I agreed to take some of the responsibility to help heal this very hurt and unhealthy energy.

I did show him the way to love, which is the greatest healing power there is. He is still the same angry, controlling energy he was before, causing havoc in the lives of people I love.

It is time to draw a line in the sand and renounce the contract I previously made. I may have agreed to help him. He decided to not accept the lesson. As far as I am concerned, my part in the deal is over.

What stands out to me in this whole process is that we, as humans, have been convinced we are responsible for our brothers' well being. Let me make this perfectly clear: we are not responsible for the journeys of others. We are only responsible for our own journey.

Do you honestly believe that what you do has the power to make or break another individual with free will? Do you truly think that you, and only you, have the power to save the life of any other? Maybe you should put on your shiny armor, mount your noble steed and ride into the battle to save the day! (Sarcasm intended!!!)

Yes, we are all responsible for everything we do!!! Actions have consequences, and if the actions you take are not in alignment with the wisdom and guidance of your heart you may have to deal with a lot of unnecessary problems.

The thing is, someone else's success or failure is their own responsibility. Their journey is not up to you!!!

As I look at the situation I described above, I have done what I can and what is in alignment with my heart. He has chosen not to learn the lesson. There will be other people and other situations which will enter his life in an effort to help him learn the same exact lesson. I did what I agreed to do. As far as I can tell, I've done it more than once.

At this point in time, I have chosen to renounce the contract and break off energetic ties. I am at a place in my own life I know I deserve more than the sort of struggle this energy brings. I am ready to disengage from this energetic block and move on.

I now understand his journey is not up to me. I do not need to struggle to teach him over and over again if he doesn't want to accept what I have to offer.

The journey that should be important to you is your own. Make it a priority to ground yourself and connect to the Oneness that lies within. It will show you the path you should take.

~CSE

       

Enjoy The Journey

When I was ten, the world was a wonderful and exciting place. School came pretty easily to me, although I'll admit I was much more focused on friends and on having fun than on academics. I was well-liked by people my own age as well as adults. I was not afraid to be myself (very much the lion I was born to be). I smiled a lot, and I found it easy to use this gift to put a smile on the face of those I came into contact with.

When I was twenty, I met the man I believed to be the love of my life and got married. I was wrapping up a bachelor's degree in psychology with plans to go on to higher education and the counseling field. My adolescent years had been spent creating self doubt, and I had worked hard to overcome my self esteem issues. Several summers during my college career were spent tour guiding--the job I still think of as my best job ever. They also put me into contact with a cult leader named Jeff Lundgren (which is a whole story in and of itself).

When I was thirty, my marriage was falling apart, although I didn't really know it at the time. I was a shell of my former self, wholly devoted to my role of wife and stay-at-home mom with three very young children. Looking back, I understand that even though I was happy playing the wife and mother role, I allowed it to take a huge toll on who I was. I was so enmeshed in my identity as wife and mother that it was hard to tell where my husband left off and where I began. I was fully engaged in giving. I did very little to receive.

When I was forty, I was not very happy with my life. I had fallen into a career as a daycare teacher years before when I suddenly found myself to be a single mom. While it gave me the opportunity I craved to raise my children the way I wanted, it was not particularly fulfilling for me. I was also very lonely. I had dated on and off since my divorce, but I was still not quite whole enough to understand what I truly deserved in a relationship.

Today, I am fifty, and I feel as though I have come full circle. I've spent the last couple of years planning where I wanted to go and who I wanted to be as my children have left the nest. For the first time in a long time, I've had the opportunity to think about myself and what I really wanted. I no longer feel unworthy as I allow my voice to be expressed in the world. I am no longer lonely as I have found a companion who treats me well and whose company I enjoy.

As I look back at my life, I can see the progress I have made. My course has not been steady. In fact, it's been much more of a roller coaster ride. Although I have dedicated my life to others, I understand now my journey has never been about others. It has always been about me. My choices. My actions. Lessons learned. My own personal happiness depends on the consideration I give myself. I am finally at a place in life where I can allow myself to be who I am, unafraid of the consequences. I know that whatever happens, it's all part of the growth process.

Life is not about perfection. It's about learning to be human, flaws and all. Allowing ourselves to make mistakes enables us to grow in profound ways. The most magnificent treasures we acquire are the lessons we learn when life is most difficult. Enjoy the journey, bumps and all.

~CSE

Focus On Your Own Journey

There is a lot going on in the world. Financial markets are in free fall as the Greek domino falls. False flag events (aka "terrorist" events) seem to occur every other day. So much is going on in our world that it is easy to be distracted by the constant flow of events. As I sit in the quiet of the morning, I very clearly focus on one thought: focus on your own journey.

Even though we are infinitely connected to everything through Oneness, our personal journeys are just that--personal journeys. We are all here to accomplishing previously agreed upon jobs. None of us have the same exact purpose. We are here to act, learn and grow. We are even here to make "mistakes". That is a large part of the learning and growing process.

When we get caught up in what someone else is thinking or feeling or doing, we are no longer focused on our journey. We are focused on theirs. Usually this is accompanied by an unhealthy dose of judgement. The problem with judgement is, it is an unnatural separation process that distracts us from our true purpose.

It is okay to be aware of what is going on in the world around you. It is okay to be aware of what the people around you are experiencing. We can use this information to help us with our own missions. It is when be try to change someone else that we run into problems. It is not our job to change someone else. We change the world by changing ourselves to be better than we were before. We change the world through our example and our actions, not through force or pressure.

Begin each day asking the Universe what you can do in that moment to assist in the planet's evolution. Feel into your heart and focus on those things you can do to bring calm and peace and joy into the situation. Those empaths who are healers can feel into the problems in order to understand where to place that calm and peace and joy. (Note it takes very strong empaths to be able to transform these energies.)

By focusing on what we can create to bring abundance and harmony into the chaos, we will assist the planet in bringing in a new world of peace and prosperity. The more we focus on our own personal journeys, the more quickly we will usher in a new world in which we can all thrive.

~CSE