The Savior Is NOT Coming!

At risk of being controversial, I'm sharing why I believe the savior is not coming!

It is time to step out in your own power, play your part, and BEcome the change you wish to see in the world!

Leaving The Past In the Past

As the old year draws to a close, I've had some rather interesting insights into my life thus far. The most profound one involves many of the people I know and love from my past. I have realized it is time to come to a parting of ways. Although I hold fond memories of them, we are on very different journeys and it is time for me to let go of those connections as they are holding me back.

From the time I was a small child, I have been the sort of person to say, "I found this new and exciting place! Come see it with me!" I was always a leader. I was always happiest exploring, questioning, creating, and I wanted to bring other people along for the ride! This is much more easily done when you are a child and your friends are all young. Children are much more open to new experiences. By the time you become an adult, you have found your comfort zone. You understand how your world works (or how you want it to work). Adults are no longer interested in exploring or questioning. They have it all figured out and life is good. I have tried so hard to bring my friends with me on my present journey. The thing is, they do not want to come.

My grief has been profound. I love these people! I expected they would want to go on the journey with me. I was wrong. With each new idea that has challenged and excited me, my old friends have not been impressed or enthused. Most of them just think I'm crazy.

While this part of my journey saddens me, it is not all bad. I have found new friends--people who share my vision and are walking the same path. I am not alone. I am just no longer able to walk with my friends from the past.

I am finally beginning to understand I need to leave these friends behind. While I would love for them all to come with me, I know they are not ready to go there. They may never be ready to go there, and that is okay. I still love them and wish them a good life.

It is time for me to embrace this new journey. That requires packing my bags and walking out the door. I will not look back except to appreciate how that part of my journey grew me as a person. I will leave the past in the past and forge ahead into my new life.

The Benefits of Painful Experience

The past year has been one of the most painful and difficult journeys of my life so far. That said, I wouldn't change a thing!

Darkness Is Only Overwhelming When You Fail To Turn On Your Light!

In the midst of great darkness, it is easy to feel alone and helpless. Darkness, by its very nature, is a separating force. It is easy to forget the reality that we are not alone. There is a very real energy that connects us all together when we take the time to remember and focus on it.

As we observe the great chaos going on in the world today, it is important to remember who we are. We are all very powerful creators of light and love at the core of our beings! We have the ability to change outcomes through the very nature of our presence. We just need to remember who we came to be in the world.

Darkness is only overwhelming when you fail to turn on your light!

~CSE

What Sets You Off Is Trying To Teach You Something!

There are times when I scroll through my social media posts to learn what is going on in my world, only to discover so much of what my friends perceive is way outside the truth as I see it. I do not believe others' perceptions of truth are wrong/bad/false. Everyone has their own place and their own lessons to learn--myself included, and this brings me to the point of this little tirade. On most days when I see posts that begin to make me angry/sad/frustrated, there is a theme associated with my anger. In these moments, I begin to understand that my uncontrolled emotions are trying to teach me something.

Lately what sets me off are my perceptions of fake news. I believe the vast majority of what is seen in the mainstream news is fake. They occasionally throw a few tidbits of reality into the mix to make people think they are reporting to us faithfully, but most of it is pure garbage designed to program us into certain ways of thinking. Even local news is highly scripted, the proof of which has been highlighted on numerous occasions by late night talk show host Conan O'Brien.

I have an amazing number of friends who still do not understand how scripted the news actually is. It frustrates me when they share such questionable news sources as truth in order to back up their belief system. While I usually refrain from commenting, sometimes I find myself reacting. This is a problem because this is where most fights on social media begin.

When my higher self is in control, my reactions are much more measured. Instead of trying to tell my friends how they are wrong, I attempt to understand why I am reacting to their post in such a manner. My life is not about how other people perceive the world. My life is not about judging someone else's thoughts and way of life. My life is about navigating the obstacles and finding solutions that bring me to my own state of inner happiness, joy and peace.

Lately, I am aware the most of my reactions are judgments. While judgments are part of the state of duality we are experiencing, when we focus on that which we judge we perpetuate our state of separation. This is not where I personally desire to be. This is not what my lifetime is about, and in that moment of disharmony I am not focusing on my mission of bringing love to the world.

Understand that when you run into those life circumstances that disturb your peace, your emotions are your body's way of uncovering those lessons you need to learn. While it is possible to avoid looking at them and temporarily run away, ultimately these experiences follow you around until you take the time to learn what they are trying to teach you.

Next time something makes you angry, take the time to question why. You may just make a discovery that will lead you to your next big breakthrough!

~CSE

Happiness Depends On Where You Focus!

Like many of you, there has been tremendous upheaval in my life during the past few of months. For the past three and a half years, I have been responsible for exactly half of the upbringing of my granddaughter, who is the bright spot in my life. (The other half has been the responsibility of her other grandmother). Now that my husband has been diagnosed with early dementia and can no longer handle the responsibility of helping me take care of her, most of her care has been placed into the hands of her other grandmother. While I very much appreciate the fact that she is in capable and responsible hands, I feel very much as though I have lost her. To make matters worse, there is not a damn thing I can do about it without creating more devastation in my life.

So many questions and "what-if's" have been running through my head. Why am I and my husband going through this journey of dementia now? Why am I still in a job with such inconsistent hours and lousy pay? Why does my granddaughter need to be wretched away from me as she has? What if my financial and living situation changed into something where I would be able to take more consistent care of my granddaughter? And on and on ad nauseam. 

Notice the focus of the above questions: it is always about me. While my husband and granddaughter are mentioned, my questions do not look at the challenges they are facing. They do not take into account their needs throughout this process, and that is the problem!

The fact of the matter is, my granddaughter still needs fulltime care. My present work schedule is just not conducive to a toddler's needs. If truth be known, caring for my granddaughter has gotten more stressful under the present circumstances. Even when she is with me I know I am not at my best. It feels selfish and wrong to try to insist that she spend more time with me right now. As much as I hate to admit it, I am not what she needs right now. Her other grandmother is.

I am what my husband needs right now (as incapable as I feel). As I help him deal with the change, I also need to adapt myself and my life so that when he is no longer capable of helping I can make sure that all of our needs, financial and otherwise, are met. 

The irony of this whole situation is that I have been praying for major change in my life for at least a year now. I don't want to have to rely on the income I bring in from a dead-end job. I don't want to struggle to get by. I would like to wake up every morning with a smile on my face, knowing that my income is being brought to me through serving others with my talents and gifts in ways that heal the planet. I like to talk about how pain is part of the transition process toward better things, and yet when the pain is at my doorstep I holler just as loudly as the next guy!

When I focus on losing my granddaughter, I am miserable. It is only when I think about her needs that I am able to understand that my life needs to be about something different at present. I have enough on my plate with my husband's health and my job situation. My husband definitely needs me to be on top of things for his sake right now.

It is only when I begin to understand my role in the collective that I am once again able to see the light. I am able to let go of the whys and the what-ifs and free myself, knowing I have a role to play and allowing others to play theirs. I will get where I need to go. All is right in the world.

~CSE

The Sacred Journey Of Rock Bottom

At some point in time, we all hit rock bottom. While most of us see this as a negative, the expedition to rock bottom is probably one of the most positive and profound spaces we can occupy during the course of our lifetimes.

The journey to rock bottom is a sacred journey. It is lined with problems and missteps. We arrive broken, battered, beaten, discouraged, but this is where the magic begins to happen! As we attempt to pick up the pieces of our lives and put ourselves back together, we become open to new information--new solutions! We see possibilities we were unable to see before because we were mired in limited perspective. We arrive at a point in our lives where we allow ourselves to think and act in new ways. We grow. We change. We become better.

And our lives improve. They may not improve overnight. Climbing out of the pit can be tough work. Quite often we slip back into old patterns of behavior and fall again. Still, growth occurs with each new step up. Pulling ourselves up contains the added benefit of making us stronger.

I have hit several rock bottoms throughout the course of my lifetime. With the added benefit of hindsight, I can now see how those experiences grew me as a human being. The scars that are part of my journey have become badges of honor as I use them to remember the growth that has taken place. I can appreciate who I am and the odyssey that made me that way. It is in this sacred journey of rock bottom that I find peace.

~CSE